Bad, Bad Words

“Shu up, Mama!”

I am changing Ethan’s dirty diaper, singing “What is Friend” by Cookie Monster (lyrics below), so I’m only half listening, I admit it.

“Shu up, Mama!”

Did he just say what I think he said? Did my 2 year old just tell me to shut up? Where did he learn that expression? How does he know how to use it correctly? In our house we have talked about ALL the bad words: stupid, dumb, “duh”, jerk, “I hate you” and SHUT UP!

An aside: I realize this list is not exhaustive. But for now, if my 6 year old thinks that stupid is the worst bad word, I’m good.

It seems like with each child, the “bad words” get learned just a little bit earlier. I remember one afternoon when Molly was just 4. I walked into the room only to see and hear two of Mason’s friends teaching Molly bad words. It was a lovely, lovely moment. I went into a short homily about how they, as young men, are called to love and protect little sisters (and even the little sisters of friends!!). They ran away pretty fast.

My favorite part of To Kill a Mockingbird is when Scout sits at the table and asks if someone will pass the damn ham. It makes me laugh, out loud, every single time I read it. Last night, Mason (9 years) sat down at the table, and in his recount of his day, out pops a word that in a million years I would have never have been prepared for. No, I’m not going to tell you the word, but let’s just say it was offensive to me, and it was not used…”correctly.” I didn’t laugh.

I don’t know where he heard it (well, I have an idea, but no proof for sure!!), and really, it doesn’t matter. The whole scenario with Ethan saying “shu up, Mama” was another reminder of how tough parenting is; how utterly exhausting. I was talking with a friend the other day on the phone, talking about some fears I have for my children, not wanting them to experience certain things that hurt, or whatever, and my friend lovingly said, “Amy, don’t worry about screwing up your kids…you’re gonna.” It actually was quite freeing. I’m not a believer in “kids have to experience the world to be able to function in it”, nor am I a believer in “shelter your kids from everything harmful”. Frankly, I’m somewhere in the middle.

Ethan was lying there waiting for me to finish his diaper. I was sitting with my shod feet on the bed while I talked him through why we don’t say “shu up” to Mom. It’s not loving, it’s not respectful, etc., etc. Ethan looked at me with those big blue eyes and said…

“No shoes on the bed, Mama!”

At least he’s listening to me.

Bless ya!



What Is Friend?
sung by Cookie Monster (Frank Oz)

Sometime me think,
What is friend?
And me think,
Friend something very special.

A friend somebody to share your toys,
To stay with and to play with and to make a lot of noise,
To spin around until friend get dizzy,
And jump up and down until stomach get queasy,
And to sometimes tell stories to.
A friend somebody like you.

Sometimes me think,
What is friend?
And me think,
Friend something better than chocolate ice cream!

A friend somebody to take to park,
A buddy to get muddy with 'til it start getting dark
To laugh and joke and hippity-hop it,
Or tickle and poke 'til friend tell you to stop it,
And me no think of any more.
Well maybe friend somebody
You give up last cookie for.