Lost at the Ball Park

Yesterday Caroline went with her first grade class to see the Biscuits Play baseball. She was very excited about going, but as we were getting ready that morning we faced a hurdle: should she wear a hat or not?

Caroline, in typical girl style, wanted to wear a hat with her pony tail poking through the back, but was afraid that no one else would be wearing a hat. What if her teacher told her she couldn't wear a hat, and then she had to take it off? Singled out?! Forget it!

We finally came to a conclusion after several minutes of talking it through. I wrote a note to teacher asking for permission for Caroline to wear the hat and assured her (Caroline) that if she was indeed allowed to wear it, her student-teacher would certainly know how to poke the pony tail through. She seemed ok with that plan.

Let me give some more explanation: Caroline couldn't bear to be told "no" by her teacher...this was the reason for her apprehension. Not the "no" itself, but the fact that others might hear and she would be embarrassed. I can totally relate, even though as an adult I could say the whole thing doesn't make sense or that she's overreacting. However, this whole scenario could be a page from my childhood, so I'm not pointing any fingers.

Anyway, as I was dropping Caroline off, I prayed for her: that she would have confidence in the Lord, no matter what teacher said, and that she would be content, without or without her hat. I then went on to pray that God would just make it possible for Caroline to wear her hat on this hot, sunny day at the ball field. (in case you're wondering why this hat thing is a big deal at all - we have a strict uniform dress-code at our school, which is nice, but somewhat of a millstone about my neck at times.)

After leaving Caroline at the school, I had one of those "feelings". I can't really explain it, except to say that I was unsettled in my spirit. Was it the hat issue? Maybe...but it felt deeper than that. All day long I felt a nagging sort of feeling inside me. I wondered if it was her self-consciousness, which surprised me, because she is a very confident little girl. Either way, I felt compelled to pray for her all day long. Like I said, something just wasn't "settled".

At 3:45 I went back to the school to pick her up. I noticed she had a hat on when she got off the bus, which made me smile...but there was something about her face. Something...troubled.

The story goes something like this: Caroline, on a trip to the restroom with the girls in the class, failed to hear the teacher say for everyone to meet at the sinks when they were done. Caroline finished up first, walked out of her stall and saw that no one was there. Thinking she had been left behind, she left the restroom and began walking. (AACK!!) After walking for what, to her, seemed like forever back towards where she had come from (feeling scared and alone), she found one of the chaperones, who lead her back to wear the first grade classes were seated.

When teacher discovered Caroline was not with the group in the restroom, she panicked for a moment (as would have I). When she took the class back to their seats, she happily found Caroline. Teacher then took Caroline aside and (in Caroline's words) "got on to" her. I know she wasn't harsh...but I thought it was interesting that the thing Caroline hoped to avoid with the hat drama in the first place, was played out, not only with her class present, but the entire first grade and all those watching the Biscuits game as well.

How often do I try and orchestrate events in my life so that things go my way and I avoid any sort of less-than-wonderful light? I'll tell you: lots. I think it was a good lesson for Caroline and for me. For Caroline: listen well, apply wisdom, and trust that what God has us face (whether comfy or not) passes through his loving hand first. For me: that still, small voice is something I must listen to. I really feel the Father had prompted me to pray for her all day and had given me that "unsettled" feeling so that I would intercede for her and her class that day.

Whew!

Bless ya!